The Resilient Warrior Woman

​A friend and I were catching up with each other’s news when she told me this story.  I thought it was such a perfect reminder for all of us, that I am sharing it with you here!
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Her particular story involved a religious group but as you read it, think about what the parallels in your life might be. Here is her story, with ways that you might be able to apply her lessons to assist you.

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She had initially agreed to convert to this religious group because she felt she ‘should’ to please her Catholic husband so the children could be brought up to follow his faith.

1. What cultural, societal, religious or parental ‘shoulds’ are you carrying             around with you? Look at each one and decide if it is actually relevant, appropriate and what you want to do.

And she had originally tried numerous times to comply and do as they asked and had been treated as inferior, even told off and made to feel guilty…

            2.         Are you carrying guilt feelings even though you know that you haven’t       actually done anything wrong? Are you saying ‘Yes’ and causing yourself much stress      because you think you’ll feel guilty if you don’t. And even worse, do you always think    you could have done more and feel guilty over that?

This had continued over the years, meaning she carried feeling of guilt and inferiority, and inadequacy and kept trying to ‘fix it’ but never being able to.

            3.         Take a quiet moment with a cup of tea, to really consider what you may be           carrying and have carried for years that are actually an unnecessary and unhelpful         burden to you or anyone else. You can get used to a very high level of ‘awfulness’  before you actually break and burn out.

Even though the children had grown up and the relationship with the husband had ended, just two weeks ago, she found herself in a similar situation and was again treated to more of the same ‘soft’ abuse. As the priest droned on about what she SHOULD be doing, she suddenly saw, flashing in bright letters on his forehead, ‘UNSUBSCRIBE’! Before she could monitor what came from her mouth she found she was saying ‘I am sorry, but I need to unsubscribe, this is not for me!’ WOW!!

4.         WOW! And double wow! Take a deep look over the next week or month at all       the aspects of your life: people, actions, groups and responsibilities you currently          carry on your shoulders and consider if you may be better off UNSUBSCRIBING?
            Are they all there because you actually WANT them to be?

The moment she said that, she felt a great weight that she knew had never really belonged to her, softly fall from her shoulders. She had a new clarity. She smiled wondering  WHY she had waited so very long to act, why she couldn’t see that she didn’t need to do someone else’s ‘thoughts’.

            5.         Your ‘unsubscribe’ button provides you with very powerful control and can            be used to deal with relatively trivial inconveniences, all the way to big life changing issues. In the latter situation consider carefully and weigh the pros and cons. If you are in a real quandary and are really not sure whether to unsubscribe or not, one of the simplest, and amazingly effective ways I have discovered is to toss a coin! Decide for example, heads = yes; tails = no and toss the coin… however it comes down is what you WILL do… Up, flip, flip, flip, flip and down, spin, spin and land and it is…Now at that exact moment your gut will give you an immediate response, either YES!! That is the decision I want, or ‘Oh NOOOO!’ get me out of here!
  Either way, please just FOLLOW YOUR GUT RESPONSE!

You probably use the ‘unsubscribe’ button quite frequently with all your electronic devices, now is the opportunity to see if that same button might assist you to manage your life with far less stress and more joy, energy and resilience.

The Resilient Warrior would love to hear your stories of UNSUBSCRIBING. If you want a good way to reduce your stress and build your resilience, this is a super coping strategy. As you do Step 3 of your Mind Chi Basic 8 minute routine, look at those negative lessons and see if there may be an ‘unsubscribe’ flag waving there? And when you HAVE unsubscribed, put that as a very BIG success for Step 4 and you will be filled with Gratitude for Step 8 – all fits so well!
 
Vanda North
Resilient Warrior Woman