A few days ago, a good friend of mine and I went out for a meal and a catch up. During the meal, she told me that she was passed over for a promotion because her ‘would-be’ immediate superior said that she would not fit into the culture as she knew what she wanted, and came across as being ‘arrogant’. She brushed it off with an eye roll, but it really got me thinking…. When did ‘knowing what one wanted’ become an undesirable trait?
For as long as I have been on the spiritual path, I have heard the wisdom of those talking about the ‘I AM’ Presence – our Higher self, our Monad or God self. The mighty I AM is defined as our unique and immortal true identity and, as I have found, personally and with clients, has been within us the entire time. We are our ‘I AM’ presence.
Knowing what we want is a gift that is passed through by ‘I AM’. When we ‘know’ what we want, and pursue it with fierce determination, fire and passion, the guidance is predominantly from ‘I AM’. Sometimes what is we want is not what some others want – and that is when the others try to stifle the flame of our ‘I AM’ in the pursuit of their agenda. This could include well-meaning parents, spouses, children, colleagues or bosses. However, when we embrace our ‘I AM’ selves and we can pursue our path with Confidence.
Confidence is not derived from Ego. Instead, it comes from an inner knowing that ‘I Can’ and ‘I Will’ in the pursuit of the directions of ‘I AM’. Confidence is strength, determination and empowerment.
However, when one demonstrates confidence, it is often mistaken as arrogance or being Egotistical. Here are some of the differences:
When one is confident, embracing ‘I AM’:
When one’s arrogance is driven by ego:
One of the demonstrations of true confidence that I experienced was by one of the CEOs I used to work for. At a Leadership Conference, he was asked what three qualities he looked for in potential employees. He answered – someone smart, someone who listens to their gut and someone who wants his job. When asked about the last criteria, he said when he knows someone wants his job, they demonstrate ambition and a determination to be the best they can be, and he wants to be surrounded by the best to grow the company. This was one of the more successful companies I had worked in.
Confidence comes from a place of strength and empowerment. Arrogance via ego comes from a place of low self worth and disempowerment.
The only way to feel truly confident, and know exactly what ‘I AM’ wants, one has to develop a strong sense of worth and displace ego and arrogance. The two are unable to co-exist together. In fact, true confidence triggers fear in arrogance. No one is able to control or squash one who embodies true confidence – no matter how hard they try. In fact confidence threatens arrogance and ego.
Once we embody ‘I AM’, and know what we want, we can go forth with Confidence in pursuit of our path.
Here’s to everyone’s success!
The Holistic Life Coach
Holistic & Natural Solutions for Health and Wellbeing